Guest Editor Prumsodun Ok has worked hard to put together this draft after many challenges of un-matching frame rates, stolen computers, scheduling etc. But it's all coming together now!
Please give any feedback by next Tuesday the 11th as he will be working on it again Wednesday morning LA time. He is planning to layer different video footage into the ending section of yeses after Babli's solo, and make a few other refinements. Otherwise things are getting close and it would be great to get feedback in these final stages!
Password: manifesto
Cyber Manifesto Rough Draft from Shyamala Moorty on Vimeo.
Please give any feedback by next Tuesday the 11th as he will be working on it again Wednesday morning LA time. He is planning to layer different video footage into the ending section of yeses after Babli's solo, and make a few other refinements. Otherwise things are getting close and it would be great to get feedback in these final stages!
Password: manifesto
Cyber Manifesto Rough Draft from Shyamala Moorty on Vimeo.
Dear Prum,
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate all your hard work as video editor. It's really exciting to see it come together. Please take any of my suggestions below with a grain of salt. As it has been some time since we created the footage, I don't remember what raw footage is available to you, and I certainly don't know what technical limitations there might be!
I really like the opening section, where the backbeat accumulates with our various body parts at different angles, and was wondering why that footage never reappears later in the video. It would be a more direct visual translation of the sound to have the backbeat be seen, as it is the ground against which our solos occur, and I would love to see it woven periodically throughout.
The video seems to move between a literal visual reference to Skype calls (ie, the little rectangular window inside a larger rectangular window) and more abstracted visuals such as split screens at various angles. I am more fond of the abstracted rather than literal references. In particular, I wasn't sure that the first little window of Sandra watching was necessary. I wonder how some of the “watching faces” might look if they were treated in a more abstract manner, as you did in the first draft of the manifesto, where you took Sandra’s talking head and multiplied and fractured it in various ways.
1:50: Intro of Anj’s Solo. It might be nice to have one pair of feet appear first, and then the other, corresponding to the Google Hangout sound, which is one low note and then one high.
Generally, for Anj’s solo, I don't think the footage of her torso is super flattering, and would avoid making it the visual center of attention as you do for several seconds around 2:09. I think the footage of her full body (from torso up, including hands and face) is quite nice and could be used more extensively - and of course her feet look great, which you already use a good bit of.
2:46: “Yes to interrogating our legacies...” While I quite like the footage here, with the grass and my feet walking on the diagonal, it does not seem to correspond to the political edginess or relentless rhythm of Sandra’s text, nor does it set up the raw/violent mood of my solo, which follows. Are there other options? I could see a barrage of faces accumulating, or Shy’s video of herself in the yellow caution tape, or perhaps even using some of Sandra’s footage from her solo...
My solo feels a bit bare compared to the others – but at the same time, I find the insertion of Anj’s watching face distracting. Might it be possible to work with the reintroduction of the backbeat and/or with using environmental textures as frames, as you do in Shy’s solo? Or with splitting the body by making it half black and white, half color?
For Sandra’s solo, my floating head is funny at first, but gets a bit old after it appears several times. Wondering if there might not be another way to add visual variety, such as multiplying her footage on different angles, or adding other people in addition to myself.
For the ending “yes” section, I think you can draw on any of the footage that has already been seen (solos, backbeat, textures whatever), as it is a culmination of the piece: this part should be the most visually dynamic to correspond to the sound, so that it ends with a bang!
Wow!!! This manifesto has come a long way since the last time I saw it! Great work Prum!! I agree with Cynthia that it would be nice to see the multiple body parts isolated footage (which form the foundation for the backbeat) in the beginning throughout the piece. In general the solos feel a bit lengthy, but perhaps that is how long they have to be to get all the text in? What would happen if some of the solos overlapped over each other visually and sonically? Not sure if this is a possibility or not. The overlap might create the feeling of collectiveness and chaos, which could be interesting. I do also find my face watching Cynthia's face visually distracting...I like the alternatives she mentions in her comments above. Lastly, I also think the footage can get funkier at the end during the "Yes" section, perhaps much more abstract rather than seeing our faces so much. Overall, it's awesome! Again Thank you for all your hard work!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Prum and Shy for all your work on this--- it has come such a long way and I am so excited its on the final stretch!!! Here are my thoughts and feedback! As Cyn says, please take them with a grain of salt--- I know all this is easier said than done, and how much hard work has already gone into this!
ReplyDeleteI like the beginning, gradual adding of people, body parts angle, a lot. Its a nice build
Agree with Cyn that I would love to see that footage come back....
first Background textures that come in do give texture, but not reference to “location” or rhythm, so add a random element instead of tying in (just an observation)
1st narrative: keyword “multiply” = visual is quite literal.....
similar to the “literal” skype references – while I do enjoy the faces coming in and out through out, I also agree with Cyn that I prefer the more abstracted treatments and references to the literal ones.
Anj Solo: I love the way her body parts come together in a split up way- I miss it towards the end of her solo! I do get confused when Shy's head comes in, particularly as her's an Anj's are on top of each other and at the same size an angle for some amount of time .... makes them “equal” in a way, where its actually Shy watching Anj. I wonder if some variation in size, placement, or angle would make the “roles” here clearer.
I too have split feelings about the “Yes to interrogating our legacies...” (2:46). While I love the footage of Cyn's feet walking, I do not feel like it matches the text here or the intention. Cyn has given some suggestions for alternatives, which I agree with.
I agree with Anj's head being distracting in Cyn's solo. But I love the starkness of the solo.
I do also like Anj's expression and wonder if it come right when Cyn's solo is done' Not sure if that can match or be done....
In my solo I rather like Cyn's head and the way it adds movement that is very compatible with the trajectory of my solo movement. Towards the end of my solo, however, I wonder if there could not be some other elements added that add “density” --- maybe even a the body parts, feet or so from the beginning? Or more heads? I wonder, since it heads into the concluding section...
I really like in the end how all the heads are present and change in space, and size, creating different relationships to each other. I do also agree that adding more elements here to add dynamic as a culmination would nicely lead up to Shy's final “releasing” “YEAH-----”
I'd been working pretty intimately with Prum up until posting this draft so it was hard to get distance. It's been a while and we just started planning the final stretch today! In doing so I wrote up a little bit of feedback, so here it is:
ReplyDeleteI really like the faces watching though some of them could be shorter or differently placed. To me it connects us and also makes the skype sounds make sense. Sandra is the first face and it comes just in time for it to make sense why there was a ringing for me. I wonder if one more face could overlap with hers before my "yes yeah" starts? This would really cement the idea of us communicating I think better. There's Cyn's wave, if it's not too cute that could go there or one of us putting on earphones.
I like that Babli returns as the first watcher. I agree with all that my solo background is confusing rather then enhancing.
Cyn's wave during my solo slightly distracts me but I like all three faces there.
During Anj's solo, I think my face should start only with her last image in front of the grass where the text says "in dialogue with". I also would like more full body and less torso.
Cyn's footage is quite dark, not in tone, but just it's appearance is so much darker then the rest of ours. I wonder if something can be done...
Babli's solo: I wonder if it needs the cuts...I also liked it straight without the cuts. I love Cyn's head having the same floating feeling as Babli's body. I just think Cynthia's head could come less frequent in the beginning and more toward the end. After Babli ends the bols and speaks English, more heads could come in.
Ending of course Prum's not finished with the layers at the end. I like the start of all the head saying yes etc.
I wonder if we should cut it right before I remove the sunglasses. Don't want them to be cheesy!
Argh I wrote and lost my feedback! Here goes again...
ReplyDeleteI really like the faces, they serve to witness and connect us and help me make sense of why the skype sounds are there. Babli's first face is revealed just in time to help me make sense of the phone rings. I wonder if another head can overlap in time with hers to cement that we are in conversation. Maybe someone putting on earphones or Cyn's wave that is in my solo.
Shy's solo: I agree with others who have said that my background is confusing rather then enhancing. Cyn's wave seems slightly distracting here.
Anj's solo: I think my face should only come in on Anj's last image during the grass with the line "in dialogue with..." I agree with Cyn that it would be nice to have more full body and less torso.
Cyn's solo: the footage seems way dark. Is there anything that could be done?
Since folks don't like Anj's face there, could it come in more gradually, or start as a shape and then form into a human?
Babli's solo: I am wondering if the cuts aren't necessary, the original footage was quite interesting to watch and I wonder if breaking it up actually hurts some of it's interesting aspects. I love Cyn's roller coaster head and how it picks up the same feeling of the movement! I think less of Cyn in the beginning and more of her later would be good. I want to enjoy Babli alone first. Then when Babli stops speaking in bols and starts in English I think multiple heads could come in.
Of course, Prum will work on escalating the end with more of everything.
I wonder if we might want to cut to black right before I take off my sunglasses? I don't want them to seem cheesy! Do people still remember them from the beginning or has it been too long?
oh wait now both of my comments show! Oh well, now I said the same thing twice.
ReplyDelete