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| In case you can't read the above caption: In the crowded busy city of Los Angeles, there was a little oasis for yoga lovers in the lovely retreat home of a yoga teacher named Nirmala.* |
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| If you can't read the bubble above it says: "Something Must be caught in there! Just a little more suction and..." |
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| If you can't read the bubble it says "Pop!!!" |
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| should read: "partitioning of land in 1947, splitting Hindus and Muslims into India and Pakistan" |
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| should read "...into the sewer system" |
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| If you can't read the above: "She awoke to find a tiny glowing pearl on her fingertip. As she gazed at it, it grew and grew until it envelope her - transforming her into..." |
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| If you can't read the "voice of god" it says "Behold Ganga! Cleanser of the Universe!" |
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| should read "yoga students' bad thoughts..." |
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Sorry about the typos. I'm still working to clean them up and may be able to post a cleaner version soon, but thought it more important to just get it up!
Feedback:
1. What do you think about the origin story of the cleanser of the universe? Are there any holes in the plot, or things that I should modify to make it stronger?
2. I tried using collage images for some of the comic and some watercolor paintings for the other parts. While these images are just ideas (perhaps it would all be animation eventually), I'm curious if you are particularly drawn to any of the images. If so, please say which image/s and why. Also, how did you feel about the collage being used in some parts and the paintings in others? How does the aesthetic of a collage or a painting add or detract from the comic book world?
3. How might this goddess/superhero interrelate with your goddess/superhero?
4. Any ideas for ways to dance or stage any of this into live performance?
5. Any other thoughts?
1. I think the origin story is beautiful! It feels very satisfying in how it draws upon a Hindu construct of multiple avatars of one god, in in its epic swath of time, and in how it sets up many more sub-stories to come. I like the conjunction of the epic-mythological, the ordinary-comical (the toilets), and the political-historical. Perhaps the vision of Ganga could be fleshed out slightly more - each event, while clearly momentous, seems to go by perfunctorily - but perhaps this is also because the images are more abstract and so, while they are beautiful and contributing to emotional tone, they don't drive plot and storytelling forward as much as in many comic books. I also was unsure whether it made sense to call Nirmala the yoga teacher Ganga, or whether she should have another name so as to differentiate her from the original Ganga (maybe a tributary of Ganga?)
ReplyDelete2. I liked the toilet cross-section, the guy reaching his hand "Help!" out of the toilet, and the man getting his head plunged for their humor. I found the watercolors generally quite lovely, for their vibrant colors and liquidity, especially the upside-down woman (which did add to my sense of Ganga's breaking heart), the heartbreak swirl (I liked that the bits of heart were fairly abstract), and the pearl in the sewer.
I noticed that you used the collage for the contemporary story (Nirmala) and the watercolors for the vision of Ganga. This corresponded to a large contrast in emotional tone: one funny and melodramatic, the other epic and poignant. Having two visual styles corresponding to two different types of time seems logical to me. I feel that the collage sections could be well-represented by a comic-book aesthetic, while the watercolor vision seems to depart from that aesthetic more (it feels more like an illustrated story in this section, largely due to the lack of thought bubbles and dialogue balloons).
Conceptually a collage could serve to fracture the linear narrative of comic books - to intersperse worlds that don't belong together, as per Chitra Ganesh - though I don't think you use them in this way here. There are some interesting ways of combining video with animation, or photography with graphic illustration, that could be worth investigating as well, as a way of intersecting the fantastical with the contemporary/realistic.
3. At first thought, it seems like they wouldn't have much to say to each other. My character seems so much more worldly. Or perhaps they might argue or not see eye-to-eye, depending on how you define "purity" and "cleansing." I'm sure it's not your intent, but it's hard for me not to relate to chastity and sexual purity (of women, of course) to these words. Though perhaps Ganga's sadness at (religion-based) divisiveness would lead her to be sympathetic to Ruwaxi's plight.
4. I could see a physical investigation of purity and pollution, based on the Ganga vision episode, where the body starts calm and becomes more and more fractured. Perhaps the contemporary sections could lend themselves to over-the-top BN abhinaya (the really obvious, un-subtle kind), in kitchen gloves and with thought bubbles appearing over your head via animation.
5. The ending of your story is quite satisfying, in how it resolves and yet beckons forward to the "next episode." I want to meet the other Ganga characters! Who will they be? Will they be part of this piece?
Thanks Cyn...regarding our relationship, I see what you mean. I wonder if there's other words I could use to get across the clarity of mind idea without bringing in concepts of "purity." Any ideas on how to modify the verbage?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I was in the studio today and started to make a yoga sequence with the plunger (inspired by the collage images) - doing these sort of silly plunger-asanas. I started imagining two, or all of us practicing developing our powers together and having a funny conversation at the same time...perhaps it is the discussion between us that can clarify things like "purity" and even question the characters themselves.
Cool, I can't wait to see your plunger-asanas! It could be a fun to have the characters arguing about whether spiritual enlightenment and political activism are compatible (something which often comes up with Indian dance).
DeleteRe: the language and the "purity" issue, perhaps you could add a sentence early in the Ganga vision section, saying something about how Ganga nourishes and cleanses all regardless of religion, caste, gender, sexuality, etc. I was reading about ACK's portrayal of Gandhi and interested to know that he has been blamed by some Hindu nationalists for being partially responsible for Partition. Given that Ganga is usually understood as a Hindu goddess, it would be good to counter that reading.
1) I really love your origin story. It is very heartfelt and humorous at the same time. I love the contrast of Ganga folowed by the horrid human pollution/waste. I didn't quite understand the jump from the Haridwar damn (which I loved that bit of history informing us) to the partitioning of India in 1947. That was the only information I felt did not connect with the rest of the story. I really enjoyed how Ganga's heart exploded and all the pieces dispersed around the world. Love the humor in how the one got into LA's sewer system and landed as a pearl on Nirmala's finger making her Ganga, CLeaner of the Universe!
ReplyDelete2) I like both the collage and watercolor, especially the stark contrast between the worlds they create. I loved the collage for the mundane world of Los Angeles and how we first see the watercolor when you allude to Ganga the Goddess. I think the abstraction and softness the watercolor provides is quite beautiful. In terms of traditional comic book aesthetic, the collage seems to fit into that specific frame better, but I like that you are doing something different and it could inform the different worlds you are exploring in your stories.
3) I see Ganga and Mataji's common ground being the aspect of cleansing the mental clutter. Maybe once Ganga looks into her toilet bowl/crystal ball and find those in need, she can send Mataji out to gaze into their eyes and "clear" them, opening their 3rd eyes and cleansing out their bowels :)
4) Yes, I think there are many possibilities with all the layers to your origin story. You can develop Nirmala as a "live" character and use animation or video to transport us to make her vision come alive, or you can do the opposite and start with Nirmala as a comic book character (like Clark Kent) and then when she is knocked out by the plunger, her vision of Ganga becomes the live performance. You can do lots of back and forth, modular approach so to speak
5) I think there is lots of juice, depth, historical references, and humor to your story. I love the toilet coming into your work again, but this time symbolic of a crystal ball. Great work!
Ha ha, "cleansing their bowels!" thanks, Anj! Sure, I'd be happy to see our characters tag team! I wonder how they meet :-)
ReplyDeleteStill trying to get away from the word "cleanser"...because of potentially ethnic cleansing connotations. Anjali used "cleaner" above...and I was just thinking about "Ganga unclogger of the Universe"...
What do you all think?
1. What do you think about the origin story of the cleanser of the universe? Are there any holes in the plot, or things that I should modify to make it stronger?
ReplyDeleteI really like the origin story and the way you connected Ganga to LA and Nirmala through the pearl making its way there. While I like the historical references (Haridwar, Partition) I am a bit unclear what it does to Ganga/Nirmala (maybe I am unclear about the relationship between the two of them)
I am interested in the relationship between Nirmala' s name, the philosophical idea behind yoga and purity, and generally the trajectory of the “immaculate” - “cleanliness” - “cleansing”
And then the stark contrast to the toilet and plunger.
Those are all incredibly loaded concepts and images. They require more development to be used “precisely”- i.e. That your intention is very clear to you.
Regarding the storyline, just a few details that could be clarified as the story continues:
I am unsure about the two locations of Nirmala's house and yoga studio. The house gets flooded, but is that where she also cleanses minds? Or is that in the studio? Or anywhere?
Does she see people's troubles only in her own toilet, or any toilet? (that would sound like a curse to me ...)
Does she anybody's trouble's or only her students'?
If anybody's- does the person to be cleansed have to become her student and physically come to her studio?
I am asking these questions also with regard to your question about possibilities of staging this.
2. I tried using collage images for some of the comic and some watercolor paintings for the other parts. While these images are just ideas (perhaps it would all be animation eventually), I'm curious if you are particularly drawn to any of the images. If so, please say which image/s and why. Also, how did you feel about the collage being used in some parts and the paintings in others? How does the aesthetic of a collage or a painting add or detract from the comic book world?
I think that actually both the photo-collage and watercolors depart from the comic book and story board aesthetic. Though the collage does have more similarities. The watercolors do communicate emotion, and the distinction between different qualities of images make sense. The collage, and the comic book format both can communicate visual information more densely, which I think is necessary with the brevity of the text- especially with the complex topic and concepts you are working with. Bridging that does seem like the challenge to me.
3. How might this goddess/superhero interrelate with your goddess/superhero?
Though in my origin story I did not define Saleye's power yet, cause she still has to discover it, I do already know what it is- wondering if I should give it away.....
based on this I can see how they could interrelate and join forces when it comes to e.g. interreligious conflict questions. Sorry to be vague. I am not sure about what all Ganga/Nirmala cleanses, but Ganga's sadness over partition does seem like she would combat inter-religious conflict.
4. Any ideas for ways to dance or stage any of this into live performance?
I do think that the watercolor parts that have the emotionality have potential to be more performative whereas the other parts of the story could be communicated also through video- text, etc.... If there are more of us I could see a yoga-group dance somewhere.
5. Any other thoughts?
I think its all in the answers above.
Thanks all! how about the name "PLUNGA"?
ReplyDeleteshe can be "unclogger of the universe and keeper of the flow" ;-)
or maybe "clarifier of the universe" Like clarified butter :-) but really clearing or clarifying the mind.
ReplyDelete